Bleh

Here I am, almost a year since my last post, and nothing's really changed. I'm still frustrated about the future and stuck in a job that makes me miserable. I wrote in the last one that I didn't think I could survive another year, and here I am. I survived, but on days like today when I'm feeling particularly low, it's just not pretty.

I guess there is one major change - my husband's company (retail ski/bike company) declared Chapter 11 Bankruptcy and is in the process of selling the company. Which could mean that he's out of a job. But it could also mean he's still stuck there but with new big bosses. We're hoping for the former. If the store closes he can collect unemployment and be forced to find a job better suited to him. He needs to be outdoors and preferably not dealing with a lot of people. He's looking at starting a small traveling bike tune-up business. In this area it should go well. We'll see. We need to figure out what that means for taxes and if he can still collect unemployment while he's trying to get his business off the ground and all that other fun stuff.

Being grown up is scary. I'm tired of the stress that comes with being grown up. And the uncertainty. And the feeling that everyone else's lives are headed somewhere except mine.

Last weekend I got together with my sister and a couple friends from high school back in Buffalo. And it was hard. Everyone had something to celebrate but me. Ali with the new baby and possible management position. Katie with finally getting her physical therapy degree. And Beth with a move to Urbana Champagne, IL for her husband's schooling and likely an opportunity to take her job with her and expand the company. And then there was me. Who hates her job, has a husband whose losing his job, and is stuck in a place she NEVER wanted to live in  the first place.

Don't get me wrong. It was so great to see them. I really needed the girl woman bonding time. I've missed the easiness of friendship. I don't have much here and what I have I still feel like I'm working hard for it sometimes. I just wish I could've walked in and said - "guess what amazing thing is going on in my life!"

Now to go see my in-laws for the third day in a row and do laundry and play nice with others ...